Studying OM

Prof. Manuel Baganha

“IQ is equal to I times U”

“If you increase the speed of the elevator is worse because you increase the probability of failure, and then the elevator stops between 2 floors, and then you have people crying…”

“The time it makes to make the check-in”

“If you want an example… … … no, forget it. It’s too complex!”

“Come on! Don’t tell me you don’t like to compute that…” [depois de gritar e confessar que estava entusiasmado por, finalmente, ir calcular integrais]

“LOOK! There is a value there!” [a falar da tabela de “Loss Function” da Normal…]

“You will not never be able to sell units!”

“OK, this is all very nice, but (…)” [a desafiar o seu próprio argumento]

“And now, let’s do some magic!”

“We don’t never want variability, but variability is a part of life!”

“Let’s assume that we go there to buy chocapics, they don’t have, and we come back next Monday to buy them!”

Prof.ª Graça Silva

“Como podemos ver [olha para a tela] desapareceu?! Coisas muito estranhas acontecem nesta sala… e tudo por culpa do Frederico, aposto!”

Frederico: “Professora, eu não vou dizer outra vez que se esqueceu de verificar o equilíbrio do sistema…”

Prof.: “Oh Frederico, você veja lá!”

“Ficam com KR. KR nada, estou a delirar!”

“Eu hoje estou completamente choné, mas não faça comentários!

“Criaturas! Por amor de Deus! Vamos morrer aqui, todos, assados!”

Back from the shadows

Jogo de Empresa

Prof. Mark Wolters

“I have no fucking chance in hell!”

“There’s hard, and then there’s fucking insane hard! And it was it…”

“(…) you motherfuckers!”

“And then you’re like «Dude, you’re a dick! Why didn’t you give me a cookie in the first place?!»”

“I could be friends with someone from Sporting, even though their retarded…”

“And guys, let me tell you, there are some ugly babies…”

Estratégia

Prof. José Manuel Fonseca

“I was passing by and I faced these 8 dead bodies in my living room…”

“In case you don’t have anything better to do in a Saturday afternoon, you can always screw your neighbor.”

“You must be aware that half of what I say is a blunt lie, and the other half is highly questionable…”

“Zé Manel, canalizador e outros desenrascanços, 24horas por dia, unipessoal limitada!”

Prof. Bernardo Pimentel

“Each truck has a radio and you can say all kinds of nasty things…”

Aluno: “What about mergers?”

Prof: “Virgins? What about them?”

Marketing

Prof.ª Paula Matos

“Ever age” / “Ever rage” [average]

“Cous” [cows]

“Could you please slow down or to go out?”

“You milk the business”

“My life is milk and cous, what do you expect?” [cous = cows]

“We have the three: introduction, growth, maturity and decline”

“Your competitor is not anymore only the…” [what?!]

“We don’t make babies in Portugal” [confere, eles vêm de França…]

“If you go to the R and D development center…” [and D stands for…?!]

“Let’s go to be smart!”

“Because why?”

“(…) er, sei lá! I don’t know!”

“Accountability” [accounting]

“It cannot be ped” [paid]

Prof. Rafael Garrido

“Ua-how?” [Whow = why + how]

“Hairplane” [airplane]

“Hage” [age]

“Hincome” [income]

Comportamento Organizacional

Prof. Ricardo Rodrigues

“You all want to eat and drink, which is fine!”

Prof. Nuno Guimarães da Costa

Aluno: “I have a doubt.”

Prof: “Not a doubt, a question; doubts are about God.”

Prof: “Imagine that you work at the cash regist-- regist--”

Aluno: “Register.”

Prof: “That!”

“I was driving at 230km/h… Stupid man!”

Gestão de Operações

Prof. Manuel Baganha

“Please try to guess what I’m looking for.”

“Don’t smile!”

“You’re making my life hard today…”

“What I have here is a quiz, but don’t worry; don’t start to leave now!”

“ IQ is equal to I times U.”

“The intuition here is not so much a question of intuition.”

Prof.ª Graça Silva

“104 pacotes de 4 bolinhos cada… - são bolinhos especiais!”

“(…) o trio aí de trás – mas você está incluído!” [a falar para o “trio” (de quatro elementos, a quem uns chamam quarteto) que estava a perturbar a aula]

“Isto é uma oferta para os benfiquistas que estão desgostosos.” [ao utilizar uma caneta vermelha no quadro]

“Tenho uma capacidade para interpretar a vossa mente… Sou quase mentalista!”

“É pleonasmo, né? Já não me lembro, mas vou ter que recordar, porque a minha criatura está a chegar a essa fase. Lá vou eu recordar esse drama…!”

Sistemas de Informação

Prof. Tomasz Miaskiewicz

“You can’t fix everyone’s pants!”

Prof.ª Margarida Piteira

“Who wants to be the first to start?”

“It’s the main basically”

“Custs” [costs]

“We must participate in a disciplaine way.”

“You must sink about (…)” [think]

“The responsibilitY of the discUssions (…)”

Contabilidade de Gestão

Prof. Rui Augusto

“We have two pussibilities” […]

Carnival break

Estratégia

Prof. José Manuel Fonseca

Prof: “Are you from economics?”

Aluna: “Yes.”

Prof: “You’re going to burn in hell...”

Prof: “Oh, that’s a very nasty thought!”

Aluno: “Yeah, but it works!”

Prof. Bernardo Pimentel

“And people were still stupid enough to buy premium”

“Oh, I love this! And this is from the book, not from me.”

Gestão de Operações

Prof. Manuel Baganha

“I’m going to use your argument. Follow me!”

Prof.ª Graça Silva

“Descontracção e estupidez natural ao mesmo tempo!”

“O primeiro passo é abrir o programa.” [a explicar como funciona o MS Project]

“Save us” [save as]

“Olha, apareceu agora! Há coisas que não dá para entender…” [quando, subitamente, o gráfico de Gantt apareceu]

“Quem é que concorda com o Manel? Ninguém? Ainda bem!”

Marketing

Prof.ª Paula Matos

“You are going to put your money to the rubbish” [aka you’re going to throw your money away]

“They don’t valorize your product” [they don’t value]

“I’m going to sell one million of bananas”

“You have 19, 20 (years old)” [you are]

“They are here 2, 3 years and then they go out.”

Semana 3

Jogo de Empresa

Prof. Mark Wolters

“I need a volunteer…” – agarra num aluno ao acaso e levanta-o da cadeira – “Thank you!”

“STOP! They can’t keep up, you’re too smart for them!”

“Yaaaaayyy! Filipe did it!”

“Just because Cristiano Ronaldo knows how to play, you don’t have to listen to what he says, ‘cause he’s kind of… stupid.”

“(…) and because of him I can be here at the best economics faculty in Portugal – if I should thank him? I don’t know…”

“It’s like when a student says «If I was teaching this course …» – well, maybe you’d do a better job than me, so this is a bad example.”

“(…) and if you’re the boss and you think everyone will listen to what you say, you’re fucking crazy!”

“’Cause if you’re a worthless piece of shit no one is going to fucking follow you!”

“You can’t even manage a girlfriend for one week, how can you manage a company for a year?!”

“Oh my God! Is that clock working or is it stopped at the right time?”[acompanhado de uma cara MUITO assustada!]

Estratégia

Prof. José Manuel Fonseca

“It had all sorts of buttons and lights… If you darkened the kitchen, it looked beautiful; it’s just like a Christmas tree!” [a falar sobre uma máquina de lavar loiça]

“Before becoming a professor, I actually worked for 20 years – it’s not something I’m very proud of, but I did.”

“There were people down, promenading their dog – and then I thought to myself «I could have killed a dog!».” [a falar de quando, ao escrever uma tese importantíssima, o computador portátil avariou subitamente e, em jeito de revolta desmedida, o professor pegou nele e o atirou pela janela (das traseiras)]

“(…) and what’s in the book is that bullshit!”

“I will blow your head off while listening to Madonna!” [ao falar de um objecto utilizado para provocar choques eléctricos numa pessoa, que traz consigo um leitor de mp3 (e sim, isto é vendido nos Estados Unidos…!)]

“(…) dull people. Like accountants… People who don’t expect anything from life!”

“When someone gives you Ferrero Rocher, you know that that person doesn’t care a shit about you!”

“Do you feel betrayed by your Strategy Professor? Aaaah, sorry. There will be other disappointments, I promise.”

“Now it’s Snape’s class… Potions!”

“That’s why some people who are missing some teeth go and make some implants: to lie better!”

“Oh, sorry. What an idiot I am!”

“This is my final statement, but this year I’m going to discount this cash flow immediately.”

“It’s a philosopher we have in this country… Teresa Guilherme!”

“No, forget the shareholders; it’s like in real life, they count for nothing.”

“(…) you create a crisis. And then you start writing about ethics. And then… you become a Strategy Professor. Or you become a father or a mother…”

“And when I grabbed the little bastard…” [a falar do nascimento do/a primeiro/a filho/a]

Prof. Bernardo Pimentel

“So they started to open like hell!” [a falar de quando o grupo Jerónimo Martins começou a abrir muitos supermercados Pingo Doce]

“Poor Mickey Mouse and McDonald’s!”

Marketing

Prof.ª Paula Matos

“If I am an agriculture…” [farmer]

“Which is not normally a normal example.”

“(…) better than the «bla bla bla»!”

“(…) but this is more «bla bla bla»!”

“The consumer is a bit limited…”

“People wants to get benefits”

“I’m a white floor” [falando acerca da Farinha (flour) Branca de Neve]

“Have a look on it”

“Because of your Business Forum or whatever!”

Comportamento Organizacional

Prof. Nuno Guimarães da Costa

“Who would NEVER kill someone?” – ninguém se pronuncia – “Who would do it for FUN?!”

Gestão de Operações

Prof. Manuel Baganha

“I cannot reveal everything before class!” [em relação a um conjunto de slides que não estava no site da cadeira]

“480 minutes is how many hours? One day!” [considerando um dia de trabalho de 8 horas]

“We are not never talking about (…)” [afinal, estamos ou não estamos?...]

Prof.ª Graça Silva

“Oh amiguinhos!...”

“Frederico, não olhe p’ra mim com essa cara, que me faz rir!”